When I was young, I knew everything. Now I'm 21 and matured enough and there are three things I know for sure:
- I know nothing....
- I can't find anything anymore....
- I can't remember what this one was going to be.....
Readers beware ,I am the same character who plays the roles of lover, stranger, comedian, villian blah blah at various points in my life. And if you are thinking everybody does it, no you are wrong.
I am just like you. I am just like everybody else. But in the most different way.
I’m one of those guys who spends almost half the
day on social media like Whatsapp, Facebook, Instagram etc
I’m one of those guys who wears a façade when he
is a part of a social gathering.
I’m one those guys who’ll
regret more for the things he did not do than for the things he actually
did.
Yes I am of this kind and none can change that because my life seems miserable to me.
When I was a child, I felt unappreciated. My achievements were trivialized, so I quit trying to achieve. Though my parents always pushed me to achieve more but because of outside world even they stopped celebrating my victory. I had a beautiful relation. But that was momentary too. School bored me. The lack of love and appreciation caused me to feel inferior. Though I always kept smiling. I never showed my fears and tears to anyone. I was notorious to outside world. I made fun of others. But this too gave me a contemporary pleasure. I got lost in my lonely world easily.
I’m one of those guys who spends almost half the
day on social media like Whatsapp, Facebook, Instagram etc
I’m one of those guys who wears a façade when he
is a part of a social gathering.
I’m one those guys who’ll
regret more for the things he did not do than for the things he actually
did.
Yes I am of this kind and none can change that because my life seems miserable to me.
When I was a child, I felt unappreciated. My achievements were trivialized, so I quit trying to achieve. Though my parents always pushed me to achieve more but because of outside world even they stopped celebrating my victory. I had a beautiful relation. But that was momentary too. School bored me. The lack of love and appreciation caused me to feel inferior. Though I always kept smiling. I never showed my fears and tears to anyone. I was notorious to outside world. I made fun of others. But this too gave me a contemporary pleasure. I got lost in my lonely world easily.
With time I realised, no one honestly has time for our bullshit. No one, from the spectrum of people who we think care about us, has time. They probably care. Everyone cares a little bit. But trying to go talk to someone make me feel like I'm begging for attention. And those who do have time, they don't understand. Those who do understand will judge us. Look you square in the eye and say "Have patience." And it just sounds so hollow. Like something screamed into the mountains but I literally can't seem to hear the echo.
I'm sorry. So sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Forgive me. This is just something inside me. I would like to pull it out from where it is rooted at the bottom of my heart. All these insecurities. And after all, they are a part of me. They are what make me, well me.
And now i am tired. So tired. Tired tired tired tired tired. I wish someone would pick me up and heal me. Fix me because i feel broken; and broken things are only thrown away. I am tired. And sorry. So sorry. Sorry.
I don't even know why I am writing this. :(
