Falling for you again and again :)

You are the  delightful morning  
That one desires to wake up with...

You are the peaceful night 
That one desires to sleep with...

You are the velvet soft cloth 
That one wants to touch...

You are the childhood smile
That everone adores...

You are the trust
That no one can doubt on... 

You are the emotion  
That one tries to express...

You are the desire 
That one dreams to get it fulfilled... 

You are the beautiful thought  
That one wants to think always... 

You are the golden extravegance
That fills my every moment...

You are the hope
That no one wants to abdicate on...

You are the charm  
That one has a proud on... 

You are the personality
That no one wants to forget... 

You are the girl  
With whom one craves to be with...

You are the love  
That one wishes in his life... 

I love you like
A dog loves a bone...

I love you like
A mouse loves cheese...

I love you like
A warm coffee in chilly winter...

I love you like 
Drought loves rain...

I love you like 
A hackneyed man loves his couch...

I love you like
Harry Potter loves treacle tart...

I love you like
Joey Tribbiani loves Chandler Bing

I love you like
Winnie the Pooh loves honey...

I love you like
A minion loves banana...

I love you like 
Katniss loves her bow...

I love you like
Kesha loves glitter...

I love you like 
Every child loves nutella...

I love you 
for all that you are
all that you have been
and all you are yet to be...

Because Loving you is like  
Discovering the ocean after years of puddle jumping... 

Will you allow me to discover this ocean ? 

And discovering you 
Is like falling in love with you again and again... 

Tonight I can write the saddest lines....

Inspired from Pablo Neruda and the happenings going on in my life, tonight even I decided to write the saddest lines....

Tonight I can write the saddest lines
Write for example,
I wish i were a stone...
I wish I was devoid of all feelings...
I wish I would have not fallen in love...
I wish I had no heart of my own...

The night is shattered...
and the blue stars shiver in the distance...

Tonight I can write the saddest lines
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too...
And yes from her side it was never forever...

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms...
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky...
I was so wrong in expressing my fondness to her...

Tonight I can write the saddest lines
I don't know where I stand with her...
Nor do I know what I mean to her... 
All I know is that every time I think of her, 
I want to be with her but she does not...

Tonight I wish I could control my tears...
I wish I could fake smile today like everyday...
I wish I could love myself like everyone...
I wish I could hate her....

Tonight I can write the saddest lines...
To think that I do not have her....
To feel that I have lost her....
What does it matter that my love could not keep her...
The night is shattered and she is not with me....

Tonight like every night...
I wonder if I can ever be happy...
I wonder if the feelings can be less crappy....
I wonder why I loved her...
I wonder we of that time are no longer the same....
I wonder "nothing meaningful can be captured without being cliche" 
I don't miss her like the sun and moon, I do not miss her like tide bent waves crashing on the shoreline, I miss her like a chernobyl  swingset misses children....

Tonight I can write the saddest lines...
I still catch myself running my hands over my body...
The parts she touched... 
Looking for the echoes of her fingertips...
I practice things i'll never say to her like everytime...

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her. 
Love is so short, forgetting is so long....

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her....

Tonight I can write the saddest lines
She was my North, my South, my East and West...
My daily classes and my Sunday rest...
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song...
I thought that love would last forever...
I was wrong, very wrong...

For all  happy words of tongue or pen,
The happiest are these: "BUT I LOVE YOU..."

For all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these: "I LOVE YOU BUT...'

Yes she used the later frequently but i never realised....

Tonight I can write the saddest lines
Out of all the lies she ever told, 'I Love you' was my favourite...
How smartly she played with these words...
Trapping me slowly in her void...

May be this is the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her...

Tonight i can write the saddest lines
Pain doesn't hurt....when it's all you've ever felt...
Don't say you love someone unless you really mean it, 
cause people might do something crazy like "believe it".
And yes that's what I did :(

Don't put your happiness in other people's hands.
They'll drop it...
They'll drop it every time...

Because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us, sometimes, 
letting it go, hurts even worse....
It's better to close my eyes...
And get into deep slumber...

Hope I can survive :/

Love was exposed!!!

There comes a day when we realize that turning the page is the best feeling of the world...
Because you realize that there is so much more to the book than the page you were stuck on.

Tonight our love was exposed...
Starry nights, perfect curved moon, dancing trees,
drizzling water, seducing silence, heavy breathes
and just  you and me and everything seemed blurry.
How do i paint a love poem on you?

My beloved dearest...
My love for you is an eternal tale,
Inexplicable, mystifying, magical,
enchanting, flummoxing, cryptic
Let us write each page together.
I desire to live in this peaceful place
Please let me stay forever in your heart.

I remember every tiny details of yours...
The way your eyes light up when you look into mine
The moment you finally muttered up the courage
to say those 3 magical words,
with so many mixed feelings in your eyes-
trust, fear, excitement and happiness
The time when you cannot hide your feelings inside
and burst it out in front of me
You are simply irresistible at times ....


Don't go far off, not even for a  day
because I don't know how to say it..
A day is long, too long for me to survive
I will be thinking about you and break.

You have turned me into a person
that i always wished to be.

A sincere thank you to you
I am yours forever :)

Does everything happens for a reason?

Thinking of few instances in the past, 

I started analyzing the influences of those instances upon my life. There’s a saying, “everything happens for a reason and it happens for good.”Well, I don't know should I agree to that completely. 

Today is for the strange vicarious feeling, which i often feel, and which forms the backdrop of all my experience. It’s very difficult to define this feeling.

It’s part nostalgia for the past, part anticipation for the future, part daydreaming, part romanticizing the present, part vicarious living, part idealization, part idolization of the others, part distorted self-image, part living in a semi-real reality in one’s own mind.
Yes, that’s much of what it is.

I’ve been through some terrible things which I’ve never imagined of as a child never in my wildest of dreams. I have lost people who meant a world to me but still I am doing fine. Things happen and we tend to break gradually as they continue to deposit all those grains in those heart’s corners. The more is the deposition, the more is the shattering but I feel as the deposition of those grains continue, we become stronger and stronger every single moment cause our heart gets used to it and tries to find ways to adjust with it. In the early stages of those instances, we try to run from it and find ways to settle and force things upon ourselves as well as others.

It’s like opium, dulling you into the most romantic of reveries, at the cost of this life of yours. It’s a very crude analogy, I admit, and can’t be applied thoroughly. 

Things doesn’t run that smoothly until you actually feel the smoothness for real. Somebody said it true, like attracts like. Hence, it’s the same in the real as well as reel life. The stronger you feel, the things get easier for you to deal with. That’s something related to what we read in our childhood books, the law of attraction and interestingly, its for real.

I don't know what state of mind I am going through. My skeptical mind has come to a halt.Thousands of thoughts are passing my mind every single minute. Past is haunting me. Just one question revolving in my mind 

"Is Fate getting what you deserve, or deserving what you get?"

A Letter meant to be sent :)

Dear that girl,    

You won't believe what I'm doing right now. I'm sitting on my chair in front of laptop in my hostel room, time being 2 am approx, not slept since 2 days, typing this and drinking cappuccino as if it's beer! Yeah. . . Just felt like doing it.

Hey. . . Ummm. . . Hi. . .

I put that "Ummm" purposefully. . . I kind of want you to know what I feel.  I want to express my feelings to you hidden since long, comes out sometimes but again becomes silent But as it is a letter, not a face-to-face conversation, it's totally up to you what you read and what you skip. I just want to feel like I've told you everything, if that's possible.

How am I suppose to tell you what I really feel?

How am I to pour out months of emotions in a single confession, in a single night?

Though I have  written like more than 100 pages about you till today.

I hope you remember some of them.

I don’t know how does one describe a feeling in absolute terms?

Will any superlative do justice to describe your beauty?

Are there words in the English vocabulary that can describe what passes through me every time I lay my eyes on you?

Why is it that I can write a thesis on a small insect, but I fall short of words every time I see you?

You are simply magical and exquisite.

You must think I'm foolish, that I'm inarticulate!

Oh how I wish you could view a glimpse of the thoughts that flash through my mind every time I see you. How sluggish my senses become when your windswept and scraggly hair falls over my face momentarily overshadowing your cat like bold eyes.

How do I convey that your smile soothes me? That it brings me peace?

Your smile means everything to me.

How am I to explain to you that when I tell you that you’re  beautiful, I'm making a brutal understatement, because you’re is so much more than just beautiful?

How is it that a single individual can cause me both immeasurable suffering and paramount happiness? You hold the power to paralyse my every nerve, the key to unlocking my vulnerability, the prowess to confound me with your expressions, and the penchant to stir excitement within my senses.

Your indifference is worse than impalement and your laughter an anesthetic to my most searing pains.

Your silence is louder than a drum roll and your anger pierces sharper than a surgical knife.

I do not think there's a word in any language anywhere that can define in an absolute term, the happiness being with you brings me.

The next time I'm asked to name a drug that is both pain inducing and pain relieving, I will take your name. When I fall short of words to convey my deepest and darkest feelings, I’ll take your name. I needn't enlist adjectives and use fancy phrases to describe you because you sums it up.

Anyway, I think I'm not getting to the point. Okay, so I will.

There's all the light in the world, and there's the sparkle in your eyes.
There's all the happiness in the world, and there's the smile that spread across your lips.
There's all the words in the world, and there's nothing that I could say.

I like it when you look at me with dreamy eyes, 
because nothing compares to it. 
Not the stars and the moon, 
not the rains and the rainbows, 
not the mighty mountains and the oceans, 
not the flowers and the butterflies, 
not the cold mountain breeze, 
not even the radiant smile of a child.

You are the only thing I ever really wanted. 
And that’s the sin that can’t be forgiven
that I hadn't done what was necessary.
It feels like insanity, because there’s no sense to it,
nothing but pain and wasted pain...

Truth be told I'll always want you.
Until every sun goes dark in every sky, 
Until I am nothing more than long forgotten cosmic dust, 
I will want you. 
And even then in all of nothingness, 
will linger the longing.

If there is anything that I would like to say, 
is Please stay by my side forever.

Will you be my life partner? 

Shhh! I don't want you to say anything
There is only so much happiness or grief my heart can contain
If its a yes, hold me like you mean it
If its a no, stay as we are now
You can walk away at sunrise 
I can live with a "maybe" rather than a "no"
Hope is a good thing
You are the only one I have.

I love you till infinity and back :)

Yours that boy..…

P.S: Teary eyes, she laughed like a manic after reading the letter. She kissed that priced piece of letter and held it close to her heart. After all she had got the answer to her question :)

She and He :)

She was plain, He was cryptic.

She was poetry, He was prose.

She was fire, He was snow.

She was boring, He was fascinating.

She was trouble, He was solution.

She was coffee, He was champagne.

She was prosaic, He was imagination.

She was CID, music and long sleep, He was books, song and day naps.

She was documentary, He was movie.

She was nature, He was adventure.

She was whisper, He was voice.

She was alphabets, He was words.

She was sunflower, teddies and selfies, He was rose, perfumes and watches.

She was super cute, He was charming.

She was exquisite, He was romantic.

She was rosy lips, bold eyes, heavy eyelids, entangled hair,
velvet soft hands.
He was choking voice, baggy eyes, dark room,
poisonous thoughts, even more toxic memories.

She was fast heartbeats, He was chaotic soul.

Still She was an angel, But He was just a commoner.

Don't know how opposites created a symphony and
they both used to think about being with each other.

Her one wink kept him staring at her without a blink.
Each time she attempted to take a glimpse of him,
his heart jumps a beat and he got lost in her charismatic eyes.

When sadness assaulted their soul, they both showered bliss
and healed each other.

In the thoughts both are each others,
But reality is yet to unveiled.

Destiny will decide their ways :)

Will You?

I don't know where we will end up,

But i want us to end somewhere up there.....

Will you fly with me to the moon......

Into the endless sky,

Exploring the constellations,

Witnessing the galaxies,

Watching stars twinkling and shining,

same as our chaotic minds

and its fantasies....