A Letter meant to be sent :)

Dear that girl,    

You won't believe what I'm doing right now. I'm sitting on my chair in front of laptop in my hostel room, time being 2 am approx, not slept since 2 days, typing this and drinking cappuccino as if it's beer! Yeah. . . Just felt like doing it.

Hey. . . Ummm. . . Hi. . .

I put that "Ummm" purposefully. . . I kind of want you to know what I feel.  I want to express my feelings to you hidden since long, comes out sometimes but again becomes silent But as it is a letter, not a face-to-face conversation, it's totally up to you what you read and what you skip. I just want to feel like I've told you everything, if that's possible.

How am I suppose to tell you what I really feel?

How am I to pour out months of emotions in a single confession, in a single night?

Though I have  written like more than 100 pages about you till today.

I hope you remember some of them.

I don’t know how does one describe a feeling in absolute terms?

Will any superlative do justice to describe your beauty?

Are there words in the English vocabulary that can describe what passes through me every time I lay my eyes on you?

Why is it that I can write a thesis on a small insect, but I fall short of words every time I see you?

You are simply magical and exquisite.

You must think I'm foolish, that I'm inarticulate!

Oh how I wish you could view a glimpse of the thoughts that flash through my mind every time I see you. How sluggish my senses become when your windswept and scraggly hair falls over my face momentarily overshadowing your cat like bold eyes.

How do I convey that your smile soothes me? That it brings me peace?

Your smile means everything to me.

How am I to explain to you that when I tell you that you’re  beautiful, I'm making a brutal understatement, because you’re is so much more than just beautiful?

How is it that a single individual can cause me both immeasurable suffering and paramount happiness? You hold the power to paralyse my every nerve, the key to unlocking my vulnerability, the prowess to confound me with your expressions, and the penchant to stir excitement within my senses.

Your indifference is worse than impalement and your laughter an anesthetic to my most searing pains.

Your silence is louder than a drum roll and your anger pierces sharper than a surgical knife.

I do not think there's a word in any language anywhere that can define in an absolute term, the happiness being with you brings me.

The next time I'm asked to name a drug that is both pain inducing and pain relieving, I will take your name. When I fall short of words to convey my deepest and darkest feelings, I’ll take your name. I needn't enlist adjectives and use fancy phrases to describe you because you sums it up.

Anyway, I think I'm not getting to the point. Okay, so I will.

There's all the light in the world, and there's the sparkle in your eyes.
There's all the happiness in the world, and there's the smile that spread across your lips.
There's all the words in the world, and there's nothing that I could say.

I like it when you look at me with dreamy eyes, 
because nothing compares to it. 
Not the stars and the moon, 
not the rains and the rainbows, 
not the mighty mountains and the oceans, 
not the flowers and the butterflies, 
not the cold mountain breeze, 
not even the radiant smile of a child.

You are the only thing I ever really wanted. 
And that’s the sin that can’t be forgiven
that I hadn't done what was necessary.
It feels like insanity, because there’s no sense to it,
nothing but pain and wasted pain...

Truth be told I'll always want you.
Until every sun goes dark in every sky, 
Until I am nothing more than long forgotten cosmic dust, 
I will want you. 
And even then in all of nothingness, 
will linger the longing.

If there is anything that I would like to say, 
is Please stay by my side forever.

Will you be my life partner? 

Shhh! I don't want you to say anything
There is only so much happiness or grief my heart can contain
If its a yes, hold me like you mean it
If its a no, stay as we are now
You can walk away at sunrise 
I can live with a "maybe" rather than a "no"
Hope is a good thing
You are the only one I have.

I love you till infinity and back :)

Yours that boy..…

P.S: Teary eyes, she laughed like a manic after reading the letter. She kissed that priced piece of letter and held it close to her heart. After all she had got the answer to her question :)