Let love hurt me more.....

"Have you ever been in love?"... a question popped in my mind yesterday night
My mind travelled all beautiful memories, unexpressed feelings and untold sacrifices with that one person for a moment....

Yes, not my first love but with my second love.
In the next moment, I smirked and replied, "Love!!! Naah. It's not my cup of tea."

Yes. Love hurts. If it's not hurting it's not love.

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.” 

You feel happy for weird reasons, sad at weird times, you can't think about anything else, it's like a drug. It's like a trance you get into. It can take you to the highest of highs but can also bring you crashing to the lowest of lows. Love makes you stronger because you have to get right back up from the low and go on with your life because you have a job, you have responsibilities to yourself.

Two people are trying to co exist as one. Two different people with different viewpoints and different thought processes. It is obvious it's not always going to be smooth sailing, but then love is so sweet you just can't help but want it more and more once you've tasted it.

If your love needs to depend on someone or something, then it will be hurt for sure, for you can never have a real control on other people or things. It then hurts badly. 

Even you are willing to make sacrification in expectation of receiving love in return, if it really comes because of your sacrification, that's a burden, obligation or gulity, not a real love. 

Maybe I always demanded things as she said me. But for me it came from inside, I had no false feelings for her. If I love you because you love me, that is mere trade, a thing to be bought in the market; it is not love. To love is not to ask anything in return, not even to feel that you are giving something- and it is only such love that can know freedom.  

Love can only come from inside yourself, not on dependence on anything else. Even previously i have said her no matter what happens "but i will love you" but she always had an exclamation mark after " I love you but!!!".

For a split second I felt as though she was nobody special in the larger scheme of my life. She was just some girl who had tied me to her leg to help her sink when she jumped off the bridge. Then I blinked and was in love with her again... and it happens everytime. I don't know how will I survive

because I always fail this test. No one understands me and I understand everything she says, even her silence speaks to me....

I still love her and will always do.... Let it hurt me even more....